Blogs Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    You've heard about the highly competitive behavior of type A personalities, compared to the more laid-back, personality of type Bs.
    Well now I hear there is a new label- Type D's. They are people who display constant hostility, anxiety, anger, and depression.
    Type D personality? Didn't we used to have a better name for this kind of person? I think the term was "asshole".

    I read the news today (oh boy!) that Pluto is no longer an official planet. After years of being one of the planetary gang, followed by additional years of contentious debate by astronomers who seem to have nothing better to do with their time, Pluto was (to paraphrase the slogan of a tiresome reality show) voted off the universe.

    Honestly, I always loved Pluto as a planet. Being the smallest of the bunch and the furthest from the Sun, Pluto always seemed like the plucky underdog of the heavens. In fact, no one even knew it was there until 1930 – and it took an amateur astronomer to find it, no less (all of the so-called professionals didn’t even know it was there). Plus, it moved to its own drumbeat: rather than run in parallel orbit with the other planets, it had the audacity to cut off Neptune and muscle in on its orbital path.

    I can also sympathize with Pluto for being told it’s not good enough to belong. Hell, I think everyone’s been in a situation like more...

    I was once told that I am a physically intimidating person, which is perhaps both the strangest thing I’ve ever heard (little me, intimidating?) and the coolest thing I’ve ever heard (a mere glance will convey the message “Outta my way, sucka, or your head will be pulp” – boy, what power!).

    There might be some truth in that. I found that out recently on a New York City street corner while waiting for friends to show up for dinner. While standing around, looking high and low for my party to arrive, a guy came walking down the dark street and into the glow of the streetlight illuminating my spot on the sidewalk. There was something about this guy that looked very familiar, but I couldn’t place it immediately – and it was weird, because I knew the face but it didn’t seem to fit the guy’s body.

    Then I realized who it was: Edward Burns, the actor/filmmaker. And when I identified him to myself, I had a double reaction. First, I was appalled to finally more...

    One Headliners (1)

    What is the real headline?

    Twelve Men Arrested in Cock Fighting Ring
    Three Men Fight over Cock Ring
    Two Women Arrested for Fighting Over a Cock

    When Bush Comes To Shove
    When Bush Comes To Shave
    When Bush Cums

    Springtime for Paris Hilton
    Bedsprings for Paris Hilton
    Jerry Springer for Paris Hilton

    Two women were out for a Saturday stroll with their dogs. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua.

    As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend,

    "Let's go over to that bar for a drink." The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

    The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."

    They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

    The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my Guide dog - I'm blind."

    The bouncer said, "A Doberman?" The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."

    The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."

    The lady with the Chihuahua thought more...

  • Recent Activity