Dirty Mouth Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I had a female friend who was worried that since her boyfriend was bisexual, he could never be satisfied with just her because he would always want a man, too.
    This sounds silly to me because to say a guy would be like that just because he's bisexual is like saying a guy would go to a restaurant and be like:
    "Okay, well, I'm gonna have the steak for dinner. But wait...I also think chicken tastes good sometimes...Shit, I better have two dinners because one will never satisfy me!"

    In a bid to resolve a sticky mess, a judge has decided that an Argentine company can continue making its own Bazooka gum even though its relationship with gum company that made the brand famous has long since soured.
    After hearing the news, Bazooka CFO Joseph G. Epstein (aka "Bazooka Joe) was so unbelievably distraught he apparently comitted suicide.
    Authorities claim the cause of death was an overdose of a lethal cocktail of pure heroin, "Pop Rocks" and tropical flavored "Razzles"

    Bazooka Joe
    Comic Icon, U.S. Senator, Eye-Patch Supermodel, Famous Nazi Hunter

    Effectively inducing an orgasm in a woman can be complicated, even with the assistance of machinery. I was using a vibrator on a girl one time and I figured applying the vibrator at full speed to her clit would get the job done, but no. Somehow, her clit managed to move around underneath, so I had to keep repositioning it. She was giving me directions the whole time: "up...left...left...down...right...up..." I felt as if I was playing Dance Dance Revagina...or Clitar Hero...or Hymen Simon.

    So I recently saw an ad for a strip club. It said, "We do parties! Birthday parties, Bachelor Parties, and Divorce Parties!" Huh. After a divorce, do you really want to give more money to a woman who'll never have sex with you?

    So I live with my aunt and she's a total bitch. She has a dog too. The dog's also a bitch.

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