Drug Addict Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    In a bid to resolve a sticky mess, a judge has decided that an Argentine company can continue making its own Bazooka gum even though its relationship with gum company that made the brand famous has long since soured.
    After hearing the news, Bazooka CFO Joseph G. Epstein (aka "Bazooka Joe) was so unbelievably distraught he apparently comitted suicide.
    Authorities claim the cause of death was an overdose of a lethal cocktail of pure heroin, "Pop Rocks" and tropical flavored "Razzles"

    Bazooka Joe
    Comic Icon, U.S. Senator, Eye-Patch Supermodel, Famous Nazi Hunter

    1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.

    2. Ahh, it's cute.

    3. Who circumcised you?

    4. Why don't we just cuddle?

    5. You know they have surgery to fix that.

    6. It's more fun to look at.

    7. Make it dance.

    8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.

    9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?

    10. It looks like a night crawler.

    11. Wow, and your feet are so big.

    12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.

    13. It's ok, we'll work around it.

    14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?

    15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.

    16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

    17. Oh no, a flash headache.

    18. (giggle and point)

    19. Can I be honest with you?

    20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.

    21. Let me go get my tweezers.

    I visited my brother way out in the Ozarks. I was sitting on his porch at the end of the day looking out west and the sky was red and gold and purple and it was SO amazingly beautiful.

    You don't see a sky like that in the big city.

    The neighbor's meth lab exploded.

    7lb. Turkey
    2 TBS. Butter
    5 grams Heroin
    Salt and Pepper to taste

    Rinse Turkey well and place in roasting pan breast side down. Grease Turkey with butter. Place Heroin in Balloon and shove it into Turkey cavity. Salt and Pepper. Cover and place in oven at 350 for 7 hours or until the balloon busts. Let cool for 30 minutes. Carve and Enjoy!

    Hoping to take advantage of Rhode Island's floundering economy, owners of the Foxy Lady strip club in Providence plan to hold a job fair on Saturday. Interested applicants are asked to bring their vacant eyes, cocaine habit, and daddy issues.

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