"I live with my aunt." joke

So I live with my aunt and she's a total bitch. She has a dog too. The dog's also a bitch.

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...

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Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last family here took more...

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"Mummy, Mummy. I was at the playground and Daddy..." Mummy tells him to slow down. She wants to hear the story, so Little Johnny tells her.
"I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving more...

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Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party.
A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

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