Marie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Marie living in Phoenix was looking for a decent woman to marry so he`s parents took him one Sunday looking for a bride.
The 1st woman he met was not suitable because of all the different prayers they undertook So they went to Tongaat, this woman, he did not like as well cos they kept too many fasts for the week.
Then they went to Stanger, they met this young lady who greeted them and offered them tea on arrival. She served them tea and biscuits, when Marie saw this he lit up and told his mother that this was the woman he wants to marry. His mom asked why so sudden and he replied

Lisa was playing bowling with her friend Marie. Lisa got a strike, then one more strike. Then, she got another strike. She had just gotten 3 strikes in a row!
"I just got 3 strikes in a row!" said Lisa.
Marie said, "You're out, you just got 3 strikes in a row!"

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband ishaving an affair with his secretary." "I don't believe it for one minute! " Marie snapped." You're just saying that to make me jealous! !!"

Q: What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
A: "Boy, that's a relief. I thought she married a black guy!"

While driving through Transylvania, Sister Marie and Sister Kay stop for a red light. Out of nowhere, Dracula jumps onto the hood of their car and begins hissing through the windshield.
"Quick, Sister Marie," yells Sister Kay, "what are we going to do?"
"Turn the wipers on. That will rid us of the abomination," replies Sister Marie.
Sister Kay turns the wipes on, but Dracula hangs on and continues hissing at them. "Oh no, what are we going to do now?" she screams.
"Use the windshied washer. While we were at the Vatican, I filled it with Holy water," says Sister Marie.
Sister Kay uses the windshield washer, but although Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, he continues to hang on and hiss at them. "Now what?" screams Sister Kay.
"Show him your cross," Sister Marie says.
"Good thinking," says Sister Kay as she opens the window and yells "Get the fuck off our damn more...

After her 90th Birthday, Marie found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult, so she decided to send checks to everyone instead. On each card she wrote, "Buy your own present," and she mailed them early. Marie enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities. Only after Christmas did she get around to clearing off her cluttered desk. Under a stack of papers, she was horrified to find the gift checks, which she had forgotten to enclose.

Right after Lisa Marie had Michael Jackson's baby, they went to see her gynecologist. After the baby's exam, Michael asked the doctor, "Doctor, how long will it be before we can have sex?" The doctor replied, "Well, Michael, you probably ought to wait until he's at least 10 or 11."