Jockey Jokes / Recent Jokes

The horses in the race...
Passionate Lady
Clean Sheets
Bare Belly
Thighs
Silk Panties
Big Johnson
Conscience
Heavy Bosom
Jockey Shorts
Merry Cherry
At the Post...
They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the Halfway Mark...
It's Bare Belly on top.
Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At the Stretch...
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive.
Passionate Lady is coming.
At the Finish...
It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer.
It more...

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse`s trainer meets him before the race and says, ``All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, `ALLLLEEE OOOP!` really loudly in the horse`s ear. Providing you do that, you`ll be fine.``

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer`s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers `Aleeee ooop` in the horse`s ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ``It`s no good, I`ll have to do it,`` and yells, ``ALLLEEE OOOP!`` really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for more...

There was a famous jockey that never lost a race. When asked how he achieved this, he replied, I whisper in the horse's ear: Roses are red, violets are blue. Horses that lose are made into glue.

Put yourself in racing commentator mode and read this...!
_The Line up_:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Willy
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry
/*/AND THEY'RE OFF!!!/*/
Conscience is left behind at the gate.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs //and//...
Big Willy is in a dangerous spot
/*/AT THE HALFWAY MARK:/*/
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
Big Willy is pushing in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly //and//...
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Willy.
**/AT THE FINAL TURN:/**
Merry Cherry pops under the more...

Horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Dick
9. Heavy Bosom
10. Merry Cherry
At the Post:
And they're off! Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs, and Big Dick is in a very dangerous spot.
At the Halfway Mark:
It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs open and Big Dick is pressed in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
At the Stretch:
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Dick is making a final drive. Bare Belly is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
At the Finish:
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to more...

HORSE RACE Line up:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Dick
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry
AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door.
AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
AT THE STRETCH:
Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
AT THE FINISH:
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate more...

The Big Horse Race Horses in the race are:1. Passionate Lady2. Bare Belly3. Silk Panties4. Conscience5. Jockey Shorts6. Clean Sheets7. Thighs8. Big Johnson9. Heavy Bosum10. Merry CherryAt the Post:They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post.Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.Heavy Bosum is being pressured.Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.At the Halfway Mark it's Bare Belly on top.Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in.Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.At The Stretch Merry Cherry cracks under the strain.Big Johnson is making a final drive.Passionate Lady is coming.At The Finish It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer.It looks like a dead heat but Big Johnson squirts through and wins by a head.Heavy Bosum weakens and more...