Race Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.

    After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.

    Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.

    When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."

    If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

    There are three guys named Manners, Shutup, and Crap.They were really bored, so they decided to run a race. During the race, Crap fell down, and Manners stopped to help him. But Shutup ran so fast the police caught him. Here's how the conversation went:Police Officer #1: "What's your name?"Shutup: "Shutup."Police Officer #2: "Where's your manners?"Shutup: Back there picking up Crap!"

    I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.

    An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard.
    Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried.' So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster. I've got to do something about this.' He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well, I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finish's first gets to have all the hens for himself."
    Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the more...

  • Recent Activity