Merry Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my parents'
    house on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be interesting for a
    non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays.
    I thought my mother and by date would hit it off like partridges
    and pear trees.

    So, I was wrong.

    Sue me.

    I had only known Karen for three weeks when I extended the
    invitation. "I know these family things can be a little weird," I
    told her, "but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun
    on Christmas Eve."

    "Sounds fine to me," Karen said.

    I had only known by mother for 31 years when I told her I'd be
    bringing Karen with me. "She's a very nice girl and she's really
    looking forward to meeting all of you."

    "Sounds fine to me," my mother said.

    And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me's.
    What more...

    Sent to me by a Guamanian friend...
    MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM GUAM
    Tis the night before Christmas
    and Santa's relaxed.
    Guam's surf is up-
    Santa's surf board is waxed.
    The Zories are hung
    by the Aircon with care,
    And the Kiddies all know
    Santa soon will be there.
    Once the tide goes out,
    and he's through "hangin' ten"
    He'll stop to see Barbara,
    and Charlie, and Ben.
    A snack's been prepared
    by Becky and Sam.
    It's that old island favorite:
    Tortillas and Spam.
    After giving out presents,
    for his surfboard he'll reach.
    Santa's parting remark will be
    "Back to the Beach!"
    He'll join all those tourists
    who visit for fun.
    When it comes to vacations,
    he says, "Guam's number one!"
    And you'll hear him exclaim
    'ere he boogies away:
    Merry Christmas to all,
    And to all, "Hafa Adai!"

    Merry Christmas law

    Hot 5 years ago

    Merry Christmas in Legal TermsPlease accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).

    To get us all in the Christmas spirit. .. Can you name these Christmas Songs? Answers found below.
    -------- Questions --------- Approach Everyone Who Is Steadfast
    Ecstacy Toward The Orb
    Hush, The Foretelling Spirits Harmonize
    Hey, Miniscule Urban Area Southwest Of Jerusalem
    Quiescent Nocturnal Period
    The Autocratic Troika Originating Near the Accent of Apollo
    The Primary Carol
    Embellish The Corridors
    I Apprehended My Maternal Parent Osculating with a Corpulent, Unshaven Male in Crimson Disguise
    I'm Fantasizing Concerning a Blanched Yuletide
    My Singular Desire For The Impending Yuletide Season Is Receipt Of A Pair Of Central Incisors.
    During the Time Ovine Caretakers Supervised Their Charges Past Twilight
    Celestial Messengers From Splendid Empires.
    The Thing Manifest Itself at the Onset of a Transparent Day
    The Tatterdemalion Ebony Atmosphere
    The Coniferous Nativity
    What Offspring Abides more...

    HORSE RACE

    Hot 5 years ago

    HORSE RACE Line up:
    In lane 1. Passionate Lady
    In lane 2. Bare Belly
    In lane 3. Silk Panties
    In lane 4. Conscience
    In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
    In lane 6. Clean Sheets
    In lane 7. Thighs
    In lane 8. Big Dick
    In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
    In lane 10. Merry Cherry
    AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
    Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door.
    AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
    It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
    AT THE STRETCH:
    Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
    AT THE FINISH:
    It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate more...

  • Recent Activity