Conscience Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Why men have a clear conscience?
    Because they have never used it!

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way if they get angry they'll be a mile away - and barefoot. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face. For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. A closed mouth gathers no feet. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. Eat well - stay fit - die anyway. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal more...

    HORSE RACE Line up:
    In lane 1. Passionate Lady
    In lane 2. Bare Belly
    In lane 3. Silk Panties
    In lane 4. Conscience
    In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
    In lane 6. Clean Sheets
    In lane 7. Thighs
    In lane 8. Big Dick
    In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
    In lane 10. Merry Cherry
    AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
    Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door.
    AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
    It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
    AT THE STRETCH:
    Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
    AT THE FINISH:
    It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate more...

    A Day at the Horse Races
    Horses in the race are:
    1. Passionate Lady
    6. Clean Sheets
    2. Bare Belly
    7. Thighs
    3. Silk Panties
    8. Big Johnson
    4. Conscience
    9. Heavy Bosum
    5. Jockey Shorts
    10. Merry Cherry
    At the Post
    They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosum is being pressured. Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
    At the Halfway Mark
    It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
    At The Stretch
    Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive. Passionate Lady is coming.
    At The Finish Its Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer. more...

    * If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. * A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. * Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. * For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. * He who hesitates is probably right. * Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. * No one is listening until you make a mistake. * Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. * The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it. * The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. * The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach. * To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. * To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. * Two wrongs are only the beginning. * You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. * The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. * more...

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