Heavy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Chinese man walked into a pub in New York with his pal.
    He says to his pal, "Hey! That's Jurassic Park Director, Steven Spielberg over there! God, I wish he'll come over to say hi".
    Spielberg suddenly walked over and gave the man a heavy punch on the nose.
    "Hey! What's that for?!"
    "You bloody Japanese killed my granddad when you bombed Pearl Harbour!"
    "I'm not Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
    "Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, you're all the same!"
    Spielberg walks back.
    The Chinese man calmly walks over and gives Spielberg a really heavy punch on the face.
    "What... !?!"
    "No, no, an iceberg sank the Titanic!"
    "Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg, you're all the same!"


    Hot 5 years ago

    One day 3 guys are in an airplane, An American, a Spaniard, and an Egyptian. Suddenly the plane gets to heavy while its over Egypt.
    So the Egyptian throws a model of the Pyramids overboard. When he gets down he finds the boy crying.
    Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
    Im crying cause a pyramid fell on my head.
    The plane gets back in the air and it is still too heavy. So the Spaniard throws a toy bull off the plane. He gets down and finds a boy crying.
    Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
    Im crying cause a toy bull fell on my head.
    The plane goes back into the air and its still too heavy. The American then throws a pipe bomb out the overboard. He gets down and finds the boy laughing his guts out.
    Why the hell are you laughing so hard?
    Im laughing cuz when I farted the building behind me went boooooooooom!

    A Letter from Mom

    Hot 6 years ago

    Dear Son,
    I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last family here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain, and I haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days this time. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue sid it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know if you are an Aunt or and Uncle. Not much more news this time, write soon.
    Love, Mom
    P.S. Was going to send you money, but the more...


    Hot 5 years ago

    HORSE RACE Line up:
    In lane 1. Passionate Lady
    In lane 2. Bare Belly
    In lane 3. Silk Panties
    In lane 4. Conscience
    In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
    In lane 6. Clean Sheets
    In lane 7. Thighs
    In lane 8. Big Dick
    In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
    In lane 10. Merry Cherry
    Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door.
    It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
    Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
    It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate more...

    The Fart Zodiac

    Hot 4 years ago


    The Ram. Their farts are "Built Ram Tough". They may feel like Curly-Qs coming out of their asses because their farts mimic the curves of a ram's horns. They, the farts, sometimes like to butt heads with other farts. Since people born under the sign of Aries show strong leadership and like to get things started, they are always the first ones to fart while around other people. Their farts tend to be loud since they are energetic. Do you like to hear robust farts? Too shy to be the first one to fart? Get with an Aries.


    The Bull. Their farts can be very stubborn, and once released, they can stink up a space with power for very long periods of time-longer than average. Their farts just don't want to go away. Their farts can even be kinda sharp and hurt their *******s when they come out, because they are big and mimic the sharp horns of the bull. Since Taurus people love sensual pleasures, they must take care not to over-indulge and more...

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