"Merry Christmas from Guam" joke

Sent to me by a Guamanian friend...
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM GUAM
Tis the night before Christmas
and Santa's relaxed.
Guam's surf is up-
Santa's surf board is waxed.
The Zories are hung
by the Aircon with care,
And the Kiddies all know
Santa soon will be there.
Once the tide goes out,
and he's through "hangin' ten"
He'll stop to see Barbara,
and Charlie, and Ben.
A snack's been prepared
by Becky and Sam.
It's that old island favorite:
Tortillas and Spam.
After giving out presents,
for his surfboard he'll reach.
Santa's parting remark will be
"Back to the Beach!"
He'll join all those tourists
who visit for fun.
When it comes to vacations,
he says, "Guam's number one!"
And you'll hear him exclaim
'ere he boogies away:
Merry Christmas to all,
And to all, "Hafa Adai!"

Believe or not the WNBA is celebrating it's 10 year anniversary this year. In honor of that, ESPN is asking it's readers to help them decide which is the best WNBA team of all because, apparently, they haven't been watching it either.

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Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.

Love wanted to persevere more...

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Here we are on Guam.
Without a hope of snow.
But though the spreading palms.
A typhoon sure can blow.
Santa Clause will know,
What the tropics will allow.
Instead of riding eight reindeer,
He'll ride a carabao.

Chorus:
Ohh, more...

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A lady walks into a pharmacy (chemist) and asks if they sell extra large condoms.
The chemist replies, "Yes they are just over there".
She thanks him and stands there near them.
"Would you like a packet", the chemist asks.
The lady replies, more...

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