Impossible Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales.
    The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.
    The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale."
    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. "It is physically impossible!" she said.
    Undaunted, the little girl said, "Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
    To this, the teacher said, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
    The little girl replied, "Then YOU ask him!"

    A woman telephoned a veterinarian and asked him to come examine her cat. "I don't know what's wrong with her," the woman told him. "She looks as if she's going to have kittens, but that's impossible. She's never been out of the house except for when I had her on a leash." The vet examined the cat and said there was no question about her pregnancy.

    "But she can't be," protested the woman. "It's impossible."

    At that point a large tom cat emerged from under the sofa.

    "How about him?" asked the vet.

    "Don't be silly," answered the woman. "That's her brother."

    You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

    Dear Tech Support:
    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
    1.0. I soon noticed
    that the new program began unexpected child processing
    that took up a lot of
    space and valuable resources.
    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
    programs and now
    monitors all other system activity. Applications
    such as Poker Night
    10.3, Football 5.0, Golf 7.5, Barhopping 6.9 &
    Racing 3.6 no longer run,
    crashing the system whenever selected
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
    attempting to run
    my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going
    back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
    the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
    Please help!
    A Troubled User.
    Dear Troubled User:
    This is a very common problem that men complain about.
    Many people upgrade
    from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
    is just a Utilities more...

    It is impossible to build a foolproof system, because fools are so ingenious.

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