Movie Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Tips for Moving South...Yee-Haw!
    1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
    2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.
    3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
    4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
    5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
    6. Do not buy food at the movie store.
    7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
    8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
    9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a more...

    Translation

    Hot 2 years ago

    A company was doing an English-language movie where, at one point, an exhausted messenger was supposed to dash in, collapse, and gasp out a vital message in Swahili. They even found someone who knew the language, and the scene worked beautifully in the movie -- until it played in an African town where Swahili was well-known. A moment of high drama nose-dived into comedy as the panting messenger gasped out:"I don't think I am being paid enough for this part!"

    Nan at 3d movie

    Hot 2 years agoby kaine stray

    Get the fuck away from me you prick
    Calm down nan its a 3d movie

    Rambo

    Hot 8 years agoby
    Gerard M.

    Question: What happened to Mr.T and Chuck Norris these days? Why aren't they
    making films anymore?

    Answer: RAMBO happened!

    Monsters, Inc. was a cute animated movie that is pretty funny, but definitely for kids. You should go see it if you have kids, are a kid, or like to pretend you're a kid late at night by wearing diapers. It's made by the Pixar people, who did Toy Story and A Bug's Life, and that pretty much tells you what to expect. Same technology, but a couple years later, so it's a little better, a little more lifelike. Movie gets a nice, solid 3 6/7 Babylons. You'll have a good time, but try not to see it in a theater filled with too many kids- they can be annoying. Especially when the one right behind you spends the last fifteen minutes kicking your chair telling its Mommy that it needs to go to the bathroom.

    OK, now let's talk about the Star Wars trailer.

    By now, you have seen it, or heard it, or had it described to you by a cyber-dork named C3PO4EVR on a host of fan sites. You know it's really short. You know there is no dialogue. You know that the only sound you get is more...

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