"Pet Chicken" joke
An old man with a chicken on his shoulder approaches the movie theater window and asks for two tickets.
"Who will be going in with you sir?" asks the girl at the counter.
"Well, my pet chicken, of course," replies the man.
"I'm sorry, sir," the girl says, "there are no animals allowed in the theater."
The man then goes around the corner, stuffs the chicken down his pants, returns to the window, buys his ticket and enters the theater.
Seated inside the theater, the chicken begins to gets hot and starts squirming, so the man unzips his pants so the chicken can stick its head out and watch the movie.
The woman sitting next to him looks down at his lap and is horrified. She leans over to her friend and whispers, "Hazel, the man next to me just unzipped his pants!"
"Blanche, don't worry about it," Hazel whispers back. "You've seen one, you've seen them all."
"I know that, Hazel," Blanche says, "but this one is eating my POPCORN!"
One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?"Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!"Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...