"Pet Chicken" joke
An old man with a chicken on his shoulder approaches the movie theater window and asks for two tickets.
"Who will be going in with you sir?" asks the girl at the counter.
"Well, my pet chicken, of course," replies the man.
"I'm sorry, sir," the girl says, "there are no animals allowed in the theater."
The man then goes around the corner, stuffs the chicken down his pants, returns to the window, buys his ticket and enters the theater.
Seated inside the theater, the chicken begins to gets hot and starts squirming, so the man unzips his pants so the chicken can stick its head out and watch the movie.
The woman sitting next to him looks down at his lap and is horrified. She leans over to her friend and whispers, "Hazel, the man next to me just unzipped his pants!"
"Blanche, don't worry about it," Hazel whispers back. "You've seen one, you've seen them all."
"I know that, Hazel," Blanche says, "but this one is eating my POPCORN!"
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...
While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a more...