Halloween Jokes / Recent Jokes

Top 10 Halloween Things That Sound Dirty...10. She's a goblin! 9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack.8. Let me see your bag....OH!-You're having a great night! 7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts.3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth,2. You scared me stiff! 1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!

What do true rednecks do on Halloween? - Pump kin.

Q: Where do ghosts take their dirty coats?
A: To a dry-screamers.
Q: What did the phantom on guard duty outside the haunted castle say when he heard a noise?
A:' Halt! Who ghosts there?'
Q: Why was the shy ghost frightened of going to the opticians' party?
A: Because he thought he might make a spooktacle of himself.
It was a graveyard romance. Boy meets ghoul.
Q: What music do ghosts like?
A: Haunting melodies.
Q: How did the two ghosts fall in love?
A: It was love at first fright.
Q: On what day do ghosts play tricks on each other?
A: April Ghoul's Day.
Q: Where can you catch a ghost train?
A: At a mainfestation.
Q: Why did the female ghoul like demons?
A: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Q: What do you call a female ghost who serves drinks and food on a' plane?
A: An air ghostess.
Some years ago I tried to become a ghost writer. But I couldn't find any ghosts who wanted me to more...

The sun-scorched vampire was crawling through the desert, crying' Blood! Blodd!'
Q: What do you call an ugly old woman who sits on the beach casting spells?
A: A sand witch.
Q: What did the witch do when her broom broke down?
A: She witch-hiked.
Q: How can you easily make a witch itch?
A: Remove the' w'.
Q: What do you call a witch's husband when he's travelling on her broomstick?
A: A flying sorcerer.
Q: What do young witches like best in school?
A: Spelling lessons.
Q: What do you get if a witch gets flu?
A: Cold spells.
Is a drunken ghost a methylated spirit?

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for him to go and have a good time. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just more...

SpongeBob & Harry Potter are being sought for questioning.

Q: Why did the monster eat the street light?
A: Because he wanted a light meal.
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No BODY.
Q: What do you call a ghosts's mother and father?
A: Transparents!
Q: What soup do skeletons like?
A: One with plenty of body in it!
Q: What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
A: The producer said that she had the perfect face for radio!