Witch Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    What Women Want

    Hot 2 years ago

    Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed.
    The Question: What do women really want?
    Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query.
    Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous more...

    A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor throws some herbs on a fire, shakes his rattle, and says, "I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. Just say 'one, two, three' and you'll get the largest erection you've ever had. After your wife's been satisfied, simply say 'one, two, three, four' and it will disappear for 12 months."
    Later that night as the man is lying in bed watching television, he says to his wife, "Watch this! One, two, three!" His schlong becomes larger and stiffer than ever before.
    His wife is amazed. She smiles and says, "That's great! But what did you say 'one, two, three' for?"

    Q: What do little ghosts drink?
    A: Evaporated milk.
    Q: Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
    A: Because people are dying to get in.
    Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
    A: Just before someone screams.
    Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost?
    A: ''How do you boo, sir? How do you boo?''
    Q: What's a ghost's favorite breakfast?
    A: Ghost toasties with booberries.
    Q: What's soft, moldy and flies?
    A: A spoiled bat.
    Q: What did the policeman say when a black widow spider ran down his back?
    A: ''You're under a vest!''
    Q: What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train home?
    A: He had to give it back.
    Q: Why did the monster salute his vegetable soup?
    A: He looked in his bowl and saw a kernel of corn.
    Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
    A: A dead ringer.
    Q: What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
    A: I'd like to get to gnaw you.
    Q: Which more...


    Hot 8 years ago

    Q. What was the witch's favorite subject in grade school?
    A. Spelling

    Golf For Sex

    Hot 6 years ago

    A man out playing golf slices off into the woods. When he goes to
    find the ball he discovers a witch (hat and all) stirring a
    cauldron. So out of curiosity he asks her what she is brewing.
    "A magic potion" she replies.
    "Well what does it for" he asks. "This potion will make anyone an
    excellent golfer."
    At this he gets really excited and asks if he can have some. She is
    agreeable but warns him that it will have dire consequences on his
    sex life.
    After a short period of soul searching he decides to try the potion.
    He goes back to the golf course and completes an excellent game of
    golf. Next he challenges the golf pro and beats him easily. He
    spends every possible moment of the next year playing golf at every
    course he manage to get to and having a wonderful time of it. After
    a year he finds himself back at the same course where he found the
    witch. Out of curiosity he slices one into the woods so he more...

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