Forgotten Jokes / Recent Jokes

Twas the night before Payback...
'Twas the night before Payback and all through the land,
The Taliban are running like rabbits in Afghanistan.
Osama's been praying, he's down on his knees,
He's hoping that Allah will hear all his pleas.
He thought if he killed us that we'd fall and shatter,
But all that he's done is just make us madder.
We haven't yet forgotten our Marines in Beirut,
And we'll kick your ass, with one heavy boot.
And yes we remember the USS Cole,
And the lives of our sailors that you bastards stole.
You think you can rule us and cause us to fear,
You'll soon get the answer if you live to hear.
And we ain't forgotten your buddy Saddam,
And he ain't forgotten the sound of our bombs.
You think that those mountains are somewhere to hide,
They'll go down in history as the place where you died.
Remember Khadhafi and his line of death?
He came very close, to his final breath.
So come out and prove it, more...

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of idiot to forget to eat!

A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen witch... do it and die!"

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him.)

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of more...

Twas the night before Payback...'Twas the night before Payback and all through the land, The Taliban are running like rabbits in Afghanistan. Osama's been praying, he's down on his knees, He's hoping that Allah will hear all his pleas. He thought if he killed us that we'd fall and shatter, But all that he's done is just make us madder. We haven't yet forgotten our Marines in Beirut, And we'll kick your ass, with one heavy boot. And yes we remember the USS Cole, And the lives of our sailors that you bastards stole. You think you can rule us and cause us to fear, You'll soon get the answer if you live to hear. And we ain't forgotten your buddy Saddam, And he ain't forgotten the sound of our bombs. You think that those mountains are somewhere to hide, They'll go down in history as the place where you died. Remember Khadhafi and his line of death? He came very close, to his final breath. So come out and prove it, that you are a man, Cause our boys are coming and they have a plan. They are more...

Twas the night before Payback...'Twas the night before Payback and all through the land, The Taliban are running like rabbits in Afghanistan.Osama's been praying, he's down on his knees, He's hoping that Allah will hear all his pleas.He thought if he killed us that we'd fall and shatter, But all that he's done is just make us madder.We haven't yet forgotten our Marines in Beirut, And we'll kick your ass, with one heavy boot.And yes we remember the USS Cole, And the lives of our sailors that you bastards stole.You think you can rule us and cause us to fear, You'll soon get the answer if you live to hear.And we ain't forgotten your buddy Saddam, And he ain't forgotten the sound of our bombs.You think that those mountains are somewhere to hide, They'll go down in history as the place where you died.Remember Khadhafi and his line of death? He came very close, to his final breath.So come out and prove it, that you are a man, Cause our boys are coming and they have a plan.They are our more...

An Old Man Told The Taxi Driver To Take Him To The Station. When They Reached The Station, Driver: Oh I'm Sorry Sir, i've
Forgotten To Flag Down The Meter. Oid Man: Don't Worry, My Boy, i've Also Forgotten To Bring My Wallet.