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    Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.
    Your Clothes
    1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
    2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
    3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
    ---------------
    Preparing for the Birth
    1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
    2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
    3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
    ---------------
    The Layette
    1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
    2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
    3rd baby: more...

    Tips for Moving South...Yee-Haw!
    1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
    2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.
    3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
    4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
    5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
    6. Do not buy food at the movie store.
    7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
    8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
    9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a more...

    What is the value of a kind word?
    In January of 1986 I was flipping through the channels on TV and saw the closing credits for a PBS show called "Funny Business," a show about cartooning. I had always wanted to be a cartoonist but never knew how to go about it. I wrote to the host of the show, cartoonist Jack Cassady, and asked his advice on entering the profession.
    A few weeks later I got an encouraging handwritten letter from Jack, answering all of my specific questions about materials and process. He

    went on to warn me about the likelihood of being rejected at first, advising me not to get discouraged if that happened. He said the cartoon samples I sent him were good and worthy of publication.
    I got very excited, finally understanding how the whole process worked. I submitted my best cartoons to Playboy and New Yorker. The magazines quickly rejected me with cold little photocopied form letter. Discouraged, I put my art supplies in the closet and more...

    Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda sipping lemonade and reminiscing about old times.
    One says to the other, "Darling, do you remember the minuet?"
    The other replies, "Sweetheart, I can't even remember the ones I screwed!"

    A Retiring Boss

    Hot 6 years ago

    A retiring boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card on his farewell party.

    He could then remember how his staff "missed" him. Most staff members were writing standard phrases like, "Without you, the company will never be the same," "We will always remember you," etc.
    The boss was not satisfied and asked, "I need something from the bottom of your heart... Peter, you have been working with me for the last 40 years. You are my best staff. What do you have to say?"
    Slowly but firmly, Peter wrote, "The best news in 40 years."

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