Fifth Jokes / Recent Jokes
A group of fourth and fifth grade students were taken on a trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the industry.
During the tour, some of the students needed to go to the bathroom, so it was decided that the boys would go with one teacher and the girls with the other.
One of the boys came running out of the men's bathroom and told the teacher waiting outside that he couldn't reach the urinal. Having no other choice, the teacher went inside and began lifting the little boys up by their armpits, one by one.
As she lifted one up, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well-endowed for an elementary school child. "You must be in the fifth," the teacher said.
"Oh no, ma'am," he replied, "I'm in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow. Thank you for the lift though."
Why did the nerd eat the fifth grader's math test??
Because it was a peace of cake!!
There is a ship that goes out to sea and crashes. 6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to a deserted island. After spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely, sexually deprived lonely. So they come to this agreement: each man will marry the one woman for a week. So the first man has her for one week, then the second man has her for the second week, and on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man each week. Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies!!! The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week it's getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, really bad, the fifth week it is just awful, it's getting so bad, so on the sixth week... They bury her.
A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
As the teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the men's toilet, one of the boys came out and told her that he couldn't reach the urinal. Having no choice, the teacher went inside and began hoisting the little boys up by their armpits, one by one. As she lifted one up by the armpits, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well-endowed for an elementary school child.
"I guess you must be in the fifth," she said.
"No ma'am," he replied, "I'm in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow. Thanks for the lift anyhow
A' C', an E-flat, and a' G' go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and more...
You know you're a redneck because you consider Fifth grade the best six years of your life.
A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour, some of the children needed to go to the toilet, so it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. As the teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the men's toilet, one of the boys came out and told her that he couldn't reach the urinal. Having no choice, the teacher went inside and began hoisting the little boys up by their armpits, one by one. As she lifted one up in this manner, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well-endowed for an elementary school child. "I guess you must be in the fifth," she said. "No ma'am," he replied, "I'm in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow. but thanks for the lift anyhow."