Third Jokes

Once there was a farmer who sired four daughters. After they reached
puberty, he fretted for their virtue and always answered the door with a
loaded shotgun in his hands.
One night he answered a knock at the door to find a young man standing at
his threshold. The young man said:
"My name is Freddie
I've come to pick up Betty.
We're going out for spaghetti.
I hope she's ready."
The farmer thought the lad's introduction intelligent and witty, so he let
his daughter go out with the fellow.
A few minutes later, another knock was heard. Upon answering, the farmer
encountered a second youth who said:
"My name's Vance.
I've come for Nance.
We're going to a dance.
Is she ready by chance?"
Again the farmer though the introduction and the young lad to be
acceptible, so he allowed his second daughter to go out.
Within a short time, a third knock was heard and yet another young man
was standing on more...

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was. He replied, "I'm too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her to." The teacher took him to the principals office and explained the situation to the
principal.The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet.The teacher and Johnny both agreed.Principal: "what is 3 x 3" Johnny: "9"Principal: "6 x 6" Johnny: "36"And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally after about an hour he told the teacher "I see no reason Johnny can't go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right." The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.Teacher: "What does a cow have 4 more...

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked the boy, "What is your problem?"
The boy answers, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"
The Teacher had enough. She took the boy to the principal's office.
While the boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed.
The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal more...

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. So here, thanks to John Sedgwick, is this Bricklayer's report. Dear Sir; I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went more...

Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian?" "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN."