Fat Jokes / Recent Jokes
Whereas, the aggrieved party (husband) and the aggrieving party (wife) have been involved in a long standing dispute, and whereas we're tired of arguing over this stuff all the time, and whereas if you'd just listen to me you'd see that I'm right, Therefore come the parties together in a post-nuptial agreement, which I expect you to sign and then there's no need for further discussion.
Clause One: Whereas, there is one correct way to arrange the furniture in the living room, and whereas the husband's back is still sore from last weekend when, after moving the chair into the corner for about half an hour, the wife made him carry it back to where it was in the first place, it is now understood by both parties that the furniture is in the correct arrangement. There is no need ever to move it again.
Clause Two: It seems like the husband just got the Christmas decorations put up and now you want them taken down! So the wife should make up her mind. If the house looks more...
40-ish........................... 49
Adventurous................. Slept with all your friends
Athletic......................... No tits
Average looking............ Has a face like an arse
Beautiful........................ Pathological liar
Contagious Smile........... Does a lot of pills
Educated....................... Was screwed to bits at College
Emotionally Secure........ On medication
Feminist......................... Fat
Free spirited...................... Junkie
Friendship first............... Former slut
Fun............................... Annoying
Gentle........................... Dull
Good Listener............... Autistic
New-Age...................... Body hair problems
Old-fashioned................ Missionary position only
Open-minded................. Desperate
Outgoing........................ Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...................... Sloppy more...
Yo Mama is so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo Mama is so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama is so fat and ugly she has her owe 3D horror movie.
Yo mama is so fat that when I tryed to over take her on the
freeway I ran out of gas.
Yo mama is so fat that when she broke her leg gravy came out.
Yo mama is so fat that her blood type is rocky-road.