Big Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts.
    Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar.

    A guy who was tired with life in the big city decided to take a vacation and go to the mountain, so he rented a chalet in the wilderness.
    One day, as he was strolling, he got to the edge of a precipice. He carefully looked down and backed quickly, amazed: "gee, is this deep!". He took a pebble and threw it in, to see how long it takes until it gets down. It took a while, so he thought "that's really deep"; then he found a big stone and tossed it, and when it hit the ground with an almost inaudible sound he reckoned "this is what I call deep". Having nothing else to do, he started to look around a found a large piece of rail. He strained a while, as it was pretty heavy, rusted and muddy, but he managed to push it over the cliff, and after some time, when he heard it hitting the ground with abig blast, he reasoned: "now that's something!".
    He had just seated himself to rest and start meditating at the abyssal dimensions, when he saw a more...

    you have a 'barrel man' in your house, you may be filipino...(you know.. the wooden man... when you lift up the barrel----schwing!!!) you wash your clothes by hand, you might be Filipino. you use walis tambo and walis ting-ting, you just might be Filipino. you nail all photographs on your walls in the living room, you're a Filipino. you have a very good sense of maniana habit, you might be Filipino. you smoke in your house you put up your knee while eating you eat kanin and ulam using your hand you are pakialamero you say Sugarol, babaero at tumador you are chismosa you say Comfort Room instead of Restroom. you say For Take Out instead of to go. you point w/ your lips, then you might be a Filipino. you say open or close the lights, then you might be a Filipino. you nod upwards to greet someone, you might be a Filipino. your nickname is 'boy', you might be a Filipino. you ask for a Colgate instead of toothpaste, you might be a Filipino. you say 'Canteen' instead of cafeteria, then you more...

    Big cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anybody.

    There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He sits motionless, staring
    like that for half-an-hour.
    Then, this big guy breezes into the bar, steps next to him, reaches over, takes the drink from this
    poor guy, and just drinks it all down. At that, the poor man starts crying.
    The big guy, embarrassed, says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I
    just can't stand to see a man crying."
    "No, it's not that," replies the little guy. "It's just that today is the worst day of my life!"
    " First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, who has a furious temper, fired
    me! Then, when I left the building, I found out that my car had been stolen! The police filled out
    some forms, but said they could do nothing."
    "So next I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found
    that I left my more...

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