"Dictionary Explaining Womens Personal Ads" joke

40-ish........................... 49
Adventurous................. Slept with all your friends
Athletic......................... No tits
Average looking............ Has a face like an arse
Beautiful........................ Pathological liar
Contagious Smile........... Does a lot of pills
Educated....................... Was screwed to bits at College
Emotionally Secure........ On medication
Feminist......................... Fat
Free spirited...................... Junkie
Friendship first............... Former slut
Fun............................... Annoying
Gentle........................... Dull
Good Listener............... Autistic
New-Age...................... Body hair problems
Old-fashioned................ Missionary position only
Open-minded................. Desperate
Outgoing........................ Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...................... Sloppy drunk
Poet............................... Depressive
Professional................ .. Bi*ch
Romantic....................... Frigid
Social............................ Crotch like a clown's pocket
Voluptuous.................... Very Fat
Large lady..................... Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate............. Stalker
Widow........................... Murderer.