Faint Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    50 ways to FREAK your roommate
    1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave
    "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your
    roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
    2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair
    of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
    3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and
    dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
    "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
    4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate
    to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like,
    THEY, were here again."
    5. Every time you see your more...

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.
    Someone dialed 911.
    When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.
    “It was enough to make anybody faint, ” he said. “My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower. ”

    10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, more...

    Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
    10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
    9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
    8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
    7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
    6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
    5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to more...

    These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
    107. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

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