Dirty Mouth Jokes / Recent Jokes

In her memory, I did a moment of silence during masturbation.

To save money, the movie “Captain America” will be filmed entirely in England. You know this country is fucked when even superheroes are getting outsourced.

British and American scientists have restored vision in a few blind mice by transplanting precursor retinal cells into their damanged eyes.

The recovering mice were quoted as saying, "Finally, our chance to take out that bitch with the carving knife!"

Two years ago, scientists had high hopes for new pills that would help people quit smoking, lose weight and maybe kick other tough addictions like sex, alcohol and cocaine.
Studies have shown that these pills led to depression. Odd, that removing all the things that bring joy to life would bring on depression,

shittermission [ʃitermiʃən] - n. a temporary lull in an intense need to defecate: Can't you drive any faster, I gotta get home before the end of shittermission!

My gay friend is way too into looks. He’s like, “You know if you drink coffee and eat dark foods like chocolate it stains your teeth.”
I was like, “Well, why are your teeth so white? Oh right..."

...according to medical journals, penis size is in direct proportion to foot size...if this is true, shouldn't women not have feet?