Dirty Mouth Jokes / Recent Jokes

After taking a walk through my local mall I've noticed that certain people shouldn't be wearing certain things.
For instance, if your ass crack is bigger than the thong you are wearing you shouldn't be wearing low rise jeans to show it off. And if you can't even find your belly button don't even bother wearing a belly shirt.

The U.S. Coast Guard seized nearly 20 tons of cocaine, making it the largest maritime cocaine bust in U.S. history.

Tara Conner, Miss USA 2006, could not be reached for comment.

I feel sorry for gigantic gay guys because they have the spirit of a daffodil and the body of Shrek.

All they want is to be treated like they're dainty and fragile, but you look down at their feet in those Dolche Gabbana flip flops and think, "I couldn't stab through that hairy meat paddle with a god damned fireplace poker. Nobody's carrying you over any threshold, Master Blaster."

It's hard being American Indian and gay.
Everytime I dance to house music, it rains.

I'm single again after a long marriage, and I can't help but notice how much has not changed. Like if I don't tend to tilt my head, look dreamy-eyed, and softly giggle, some straight men will automatically assume I'm a lesbian. If that's all it takes, fine, then I'm a lesbian.... A virgin lesbian.... Who sleeps with men.

David Ogden Stiers, a former cast member of the popular TV series M*A*S*H has officially come out of the closet with the following statement:
"I could claim noble reasons as coming out in order to move gay rights forward, but I must admit it is for far more selfish reasons. Now is the time I wish to find someone and I do not desire to force any potential partner to live a life of extreme discretion for me."
Translated: "Much like George Takei, I decided to wait until nobody would care."

Target stores will no longer sell games like Shots and Ladders and Keg Pong because they promote binge drinking. Partiers who enjoy games need not worry, however. Still on the shelves are the marijuana paranoia guessing contest Was That Voice Real or On TV? and the PCP invincibility training kit entitled Twenty Bucks Says You Won’t Punch That Cop.