Dirty Mouth Jokes / Recent Jokes

My friend just bought a High Def TV...
I thought High Definition was smoking weed and reading the dictionary.

A new study shows marijuana smoking by a pregnant mother stunts the growth of her baby.
Maybe that's the reason why, on that old TV show "Family Ties" the one with the tall ex-hippie couple, they picked Michael J. Fox to play their first born son - Alex Keaton.

In related news, a White House spokesman said that Barack Obama will announce tomorrow that he is coming out of the closet.

A study finds that one in four Southern states' residents will ignore government evacuation orders. The top reasons given:

1) They believed their houses were well-built.
2) The roads would be too crowded.
3) They planned to steal their neighbor's shit.

Marijuana and little people
Too many. I've see I've done too many jokes about marijuana and little people.
What will that lead to - the Munchkins?

...recent studies have shown that marijuana smokers have lower sperm count and slower sperm speed...turns out their sperm was stopping for munchies first.

David Ogden Stiers, a former cast member of the popular TV series M*A*S*H has officially come out of the closet with the following statement:
"I could claim noble reasons as coming out in order to move gay rights forward, but I must admit it is for far more selfish reasons. Now is the time I wish to find someone and I do not desire to force any potential partner to live a life of extreme discretion for me."
Translated: "Much like George Takei, I decided to wait until nobody would care."