Characters Jokes / Recent Jokes

CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities, and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities, new rules are being put into effect concerning the selection of passwords. All users of computing facilities are instructed to change their passwords to conform to these rules immediately.RULES FOR THE SELECTION OF PASSWORDS:1. A password must be at least six characters long, and must not contain two occurrences of a character in a row, or a sequence of two or more characters from the alphabet in forward or reverse order. Example: HGQQXP is an invalid password. GFEDCB is an invalid password.2. A password may not contain two or more letters in the same position as any previous password. Example: If a previous password was GKPWTZ, then NRPWHS would be invalid because PW occurs in the same position in both passwords.3. A password may not contain the name of a month or an abbreviation for a month. Example: MARCHBC more...

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."

Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair,
soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar
principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.
Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in
their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward
motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's
surcease.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of
directed-pressure explosions more...

These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time. "Thats a fine watch you got there!" says the other. "Yeah it is, isnt it? I got it from my grandfather," says the guy with the watch. "Really?" "Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed."

CHARACTERS: BOY1, BOY2, GIRL1, GIRL2, PARENTS
BOY 1 loves GIRL 1.
BOY 2 loves GIRL 2.

PARENTS MAKE THE DECISION.

BOY 1 MARRIES GIRL 2.
BOY 2 MARRIES GIRL 1.
BOY 1? GIRL 2? UNHAPPY
BOY 2? GIRL 1? UNHAPPY
BOY 1 still loves GIRL 1
BOY 2 still loves GIRL 2

PARENTS COME TO KNOW AGAIN. DECISION MADE.
BOY 1 MARRIES GIRL 1.
BOY 2 MARRIES GIRL 2.
HAPPY ENDING!!!
NAME OF THE STORY: KABHI ALVIDA NA KEHNA.
BOY 1: SHAHRUKH KHAN
BOY 2: ABHISHEK BACCHAN
GIRL 1: PRIETY ZINTA
GIRL 2: RANI MUKHERJEE
Rs 150/ saved also 3 hours

Herewith is a compendium of movie clichés, stereotypes, obligatory scenes, hackneyed formulas, shopworn conventions and outdated archetypes. The author says that as you go to enough different movies, you start to notice things. Like how every time there's a chase scene in an exotic locale, a fruit cart gets overturned. Or how whenever the hero knocks out a Nazi sentry and puts on his uniform, the uniform is a perfect fit. Or how there are plots that would be over in five minutes, if all characters weren't idiots. Actress Inferior Position - In movie sex scenes, which are usually directed by men, the POV (Point of View) at the moment of climax is almost always the man's, so that we see the actress, not the actor, losing control. AC-WAT-NOBI Movie - A Cop With A Theory No One Believes In. Against All Odds Rule - In an apparently fatal situation from which there is no possible hope of survival, it is certain the characters will survive. In a situation where there is any apparent chance more...

CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471

In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities, and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities, new rules are being put into effect concerning the selection of passwords. All users of computing facilities are instructed to change their passwords to conform to these rules immediately.

RULES FOR THE SELECTION OF PASSWORDS:

1. A password must be at least six characters long, and must not contain two occurrences of a character in a row, or a sequence of two or more characters from the alphabet in forward or reverse order. Example: HGQQXP is an invalid password. GFEDCB is an invalid password.

2. A password may not contain two or more letters in the same position as any previous password. Example: If a previous password was GKPWTZ, then NRPWHS would be invalid because PW occurs in the same position in both passwords.

3. A password may not contain the name more...