Authorities Jokes / Recent Jokes

Earlier this year, the dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler was plucked out
of the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their sunken ship.
Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once
authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. To a man they
claimed that a cow, falling out of a clear blue sky, had struck the
trawler amidships, shattering it's hull and sinking the vessel within
minutes.
They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force
reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its
cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a
Siberian airfield, forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily taken
off for home.
Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a
now rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves,
they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea more...

In the 80's, a [local] radio station had a couple of DJs who claimed
the stealth fighter had landed at the Mt. Joy airport in Mt. Joy,
Iowa. This is used mainly by the weekend warriors, and once a year
it's used for an air show. The authorities were notified after an
estimated 10,000 people came to the airport. They asked the
people why they were out there, and they were given the story about
the stealth fighter.
The authorities then called the FBI, who talked to the FAA, who
called the FBI back. The two DJs got yanked off the air and
suspended for two weeks - but not before some people at the
airport, armed with cell phones, called into the station, got put on
the air, and said that they couldn't see the thing. The DJs replied
that it was proof the technology worked.
To top it all off: the DJs said the only way that you could see
the plane was to move your head back and fourth - like a chicken
when it walks - and try to more...

This gay fellow was walking down the street, when he came across a huge guy with a hiry chest. He went up to the guy and said "Excuse me sir, uh do you mind if i ask how you got such a lovely chest? "It's easy" the bloke replied, "you just rub vasoline on it every night before you go to bed" So the gay fellow ran home to his boy friend and told him all about it, and the boyfriend replied "That can't be right, or you would have a pony tail growing out of your ass by now" ******************* A man walked into a bar, and he got very drunk He shouted out so that everyone could hear him, "all lawyers are arse holes!" Then a person shouted back saying that he resented what the drunken man had said. Th drunk man said, "why? Are you a lawyer". No the man replied, I'm an arse hole. ******************** One day they were three suicidal prostitute, they wanted to kill themselves so they decided to jump of a 50 story building. The first more...

BETHLEHEM -- It was rumored today that an unmarried couple from
Nazareth stopped in a manger owned by Alfredo Pinchi, a notorious
local slumlord, and a baby was born.

"There was no running water, and the place was filled with straw,"
commented local public health authorities. "We even found a
donkey inside!"

"The mother gave birth under extremely questionable circumstances,"
offered Pontius Pilate, Judean candidate for District Attorney.
"She claims to have been a virgin."

Unconfirmed reports indicate that Roman authorities are
investigating the baby on charges of sedition and treason. "There
are a bunch of people running around alleging that the baby is the
son of God," explained Pilate, "and that he will have some radical
ideas about religion in the future."

Three Kings from the Orient were caught on the outskirts of
Bethlehem more...

Yemeni authorities destroyed on Saturday hashish and amphetamines with a street value of more than 83 million dollars, incinerating them in a Sanaa field. "That's almost a week's supply" said a distraught Amy Winehouse.

Crazy story. Thieves broke into tea gardens in Northeast India and stole tea leaves, damaged tea bushes and hurt the entire tea industry.
Authorities offered a reward... and said the thieves are described as havingvery soothed lemony throats and are armed with large amounts of pee.
Authorities are questioning anyone in the area who seems ‘Englishly gay’.

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. February 10, 1993FBI and Florida authorities arrested Paul E. Flasher, 45, who had been sentenced to five years in prison in 1980 for grand theft but who had never been jailed. Flasher said he had gone home from the sentencing hearing in Tampa and "sat tight," just as his lawyer had instructed, waiting for notification to report to prison. Authorities forgot him for 12 years.