Cow Jokes

What is a cow's favorite TV show? Dr Moo! Why was the farmer hopping mad? Because someone had trodden on his corn! What would happen if bulls could fly? You would have to carry an umbrella all the time and beef would go up! What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud? A sheep that's under the weather! Why do cows like being told jokes? Because they like being amoosed! What goes' peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'? A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons! What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig? A groundhog! How do you take a pig to hospital? By hambulance! What do you call a joke book for chickens? A yolk book!

Q: Where do cows go on Saturday nights?
A: To the moovies

A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.

The Hindu says,' 'I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn.'' So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says,' 'There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow.''

So, the Rabbi says,' 'I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn.'' A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.

So, the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow...

The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet is to let the cow eat it, and then eat the cow.

They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken.