"Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami..." joke

Hot 1 year ago

Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami.They were discussing the fact that if they gofor a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes, but if they take the cigarettes with them, theywill get soaked. Then they notice a gorgeous girlwalking out of the ocean. She reaches into the topof her swimsuit, pulls out a perfectly drycigarette and book of matches and lights up. Theladies go up to the girl and ask, "How do you keepyour cigarettes dry?" Her answer, "I put them insideof a condom." The women rush to a pharmacy and ask for acondom. When the pharmacist asks, "What size?" one ofthe ladies says, "It should fit a Camel."

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Grumpy

Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

To all staff
Early Retirement
Due to the current financial situation, management has decided to give all workers over 30 yrs an early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged Personnel Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Management to more...

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run. She still has the grenade in her mouth.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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Arnel :If my man cheats on me, I won't leave him. His other woman better have deep pockets because she's going to have to pay for my lawyer after I finish knocking him out!
Funny Joke? 13 vote(s). 92% are positive. 1 comment(s).