justincider's Jokes
The wife's been on a ballooning holiday.
She put on two stone.
I went out on the piss last night and pulled a georgeous bird.
We made love several times before falling asleep in each others arms.
When I woke up though I had the shock of my life.
She'd put on 60 pounds during the night.
I saw a girl being raped in a subway the other night, and did nothing.
But to be honest, it did put me off my Steak and cheese melt a bit.
I do ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
I went out with my mink coat on last night.
Some silly cow shouted at me, "Some poor animal died to make that coat."
I said, "It's ok sweetheart, this one was dead already."
OK, You're a woman, walking home alone. You suddenly notice you are being followed by a black man. What steps would you take?
Fucking long ones!