Fur Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I went out with my mink coat on last night.
    Some silly cow shouted at me, "Some poor animal died to make that coat."
    I said, "It's ok sweetheart, this one was dead already."

    A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat.

    "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and Dad shop for me."

    The daughter nods in agreement.

    "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."

    The daughter protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor, dumb creature has to suffer so that you can have this."

    "Don't worry, honey," says the mother. "Your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."

    What is a Cat?

    1. Cats do what they want.
    2. They rarely listen to you.
    3. They're totally unpredictable.
    4. They whine when they are not happy.
    5. When you want to play they want to be alone.
    6. When you want to be alone they want to play.
    7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
    8. They're moody.
    9. They leave hair everywhere.
    10. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

    Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

    ~ ~ ~ ~

    What is a Dog?

    1. Dogs lie around all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
    2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
    3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
    4. They growl when they are not happy.
    5. When you want to play they want to play.
    6. When you want to be alone they want to play.
    7. They are more...

    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5: 30 and smells the distinct smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said…. FOR BEST RESULTS, more...

    What is a CAT?
    1. Cats do what they want.
    2. They rarely listen to you.
    3. They're totally unpredictable.
    4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
    5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
    6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
    7. They're moody.
    8. They leave hair everywhere.
    CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
    What is a DOG?
    1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
    2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
    3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
    4. They growl when they are not happy.
    5. When you want to play, they want to play.
    6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
    7. They leave their toys everywhere.
    8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss!
    9. They go right to your more...

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