"Ballooning" joke

The wife's been on a ballooning holiday.
She put on two stone.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Had to defrost the fridge last night before bed.

Or 'foreplay', as she calls it.

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23

Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!

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17

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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69

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

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Funny Joke? 51 vote(s). 76% are positive. 0 comment(s).