Recent Jokes
A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works.
"We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: " All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are more...
Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.
Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
A man had his VISA stolen but he decided not to report it as the thief was spending less than his wife did!
No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.