"Uconn cheerleaders" joke

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!