Teeth Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The teacher of a high school biology class had his students analyzing bacteria under the microscope. To show them the types of bacteria found in the human mouth, he had them take scrapings from between their own teeth and analyze these scrapings under the microscope.
    One girl was stumped in identifying the bacteria she scraped from between her teeth.
    The teacher took a look, stared disgustedly at the puzzled girl and said, "Those are sperm cells."

    At the Gym For Christmas this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started. Day 1 They suggest I keep this "exercise diary" to chart my progress this week. Started the morning at 6: 00 a. m. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics more...

    A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves.
    "Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"
    She said, "No, I don't have any idea."
    "Well," he spoofed,
    "Down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in and then walks around for a bit while the latex sets and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods' crate and start the process all over again."
    She didn't laugh one bit.
    Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.
    The old woman blushed and exclaimed,
    "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!"

    Knock Knock!
    Who's There?
    Dishwasher.
    Dishwasher Who?
    Dishwasher whay I sphoke vhefore I hafe fawse feeth
    (This was the way I spoke before I had false teeth)

    Moisha Rabinowitz in the late 1930s fled his native land of Germany. He sold all his assets and converted it to gold and then had 5 sets of solid gold false teeth made.When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have 5 sets of gold teeth. So Moisha explained."We Orthodox Jews have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products but I am so kosher and religious I also have separate sets of teeth."The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?"Moisha then said "Vell us very religious Orthodox Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but I am so religious I have separate teeth, one for meat and one for dairy food.The customs official slapped his head and then said, "You must be a very religious man with separate teeth for food and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What
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