"The Religious Man and the Atheist" joke

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the
religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees
in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a
church.
However, the atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a
beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured,
whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his
wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn't give him the
time of the day.
So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven
and asked, "Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for
every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who
doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed
with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity.
Why is this?"
And a great voice was heard from above, "Because he doesn't bother me
all the time!"

What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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your hairline so far back i thought u went bald in 3rd grade

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The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger... In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I more...

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Indecent Exposure
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, more...

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