"Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway." joke

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Donna.
Donna who?
Donna sit under the apple tree.