"Saint Peter was manning the Pearly " joke

Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty people from New York City showed up. Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous people from the group. A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone!" "What? All of the New Yorkers are gone?" asked God. "No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"

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Ya Mama

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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Gullible cop

by TJ

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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Bungee Jumping Mamma

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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Yo moma

your momas so fat when she stepped on the scale it said new high score.

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Your mamma so ugly

your mamma is so ugly she makes blind kids scared

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