"On A Pressing Matter Of State" joke
President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "My people's favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.", replied the President.
"I do need your help," said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1, 000, 000 condoms ASAP to tie us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!", said Bush.
"Oh, and one more small favour, please?", said Putin.
"Yes?", replied the President.
"Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.
"No problem," replied the President and with that Bush hung up and called the President of Trojan condoms. "I need a favour, you've got to make 1, 000, 000 condoms right away and send them to Russia."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in colour, 10" long and 4" wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "Print' MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM' on each one."
Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman.
So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot."
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that", replied the more...
Q: What is the difference between a regular faggot and a midget faggot?
A: Regulars come out of the closet; midgets come out of the cupboard.
One day a man from Alabama comes to Georgia to get an education. He goes to the first professor he sees and says, “What can you teach me?”
Shocked, the professor answers, “Well, I can teach you about the power of reasoning.”
With a questioned look on more...
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too more...
The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend more...