Colour Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergency:
    "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "My people's favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"

    "Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.", replied the President.

    "I do need your help," said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1, 000, 000 condoms ASAP to tie us over?"

    "Why certainly! I'll get right on it!", said Bush.

    "Oh, and one more small favour, please?", said Putin.

    "Yes?", replied the President.

    "Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.

    "No problem," replied the President and with that Bush hung up and called the President of Trojan condoms. "I need a favour, you've got to make 1, more...

    It's great to be a bloke because:
    Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
    Your orgasms are real. Always.
    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
    Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    Wrinkles add character.
    A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.
    You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
    People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
    Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
    Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice more...

    POLITICALLY CORRECT SEASONS GREETINGS Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemispheresummer solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of thereligious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions ofothers, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medicallyuncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great, andwithout regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation or choice of computer platform andoperating system of the wishee. By accepting more...

    Radha: Why Did Ramu Put His Dads New Colour T. V In The Swimmimg Pool Ramesh: To See Whether The Colour In The Tv Faded

    Thanks to' Carol' for this large collection of Yo-Mama Jokes... Enjoy!!

    Your momma is so fat when she sits in the bathtub the toilet water raises.
    Yo mama so stud she thought a quarterback was a refund.
    Your mum's like a bowling ball. Why? You finger her, chuck her down an alley and she comes back for more.
    Your mum's so ugly, she has to do trick or treat over the phone.
    Your mum's so fat, she wears a vcr as a pager.
    Your mum's so ugly, your dad takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
    Your mum's so fat, she fills the bath and then puts the water in.
    Your mum's like a DIY shop, 1p a screw.
    Your mum's so fat, when she went to the beach, she was the only one who got a tan.
    Your mum's so ugly, she turned medusa to stone.
    Your mum's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
    Your mum's so old, I told her to act her age and she died.
    Your mum's like more...

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