Favour Jokes

President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "My people's favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"

"Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.", replied the President.

"I do need your help," said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1, 000, 000 condoms ASAP to tie us over?"

"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!", said Bush.

"Oh, and one more small favour, please?", said Putin.

"Yes?", replied the President.

"Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.

"No problem," replied the President and with that Bush hung up and called the President of Trojan condoms. "I need a favour, you've got to make 1, more...

a man was sitting on the chair when his wife said to him. 'love'
'yes dear'
'do me a favour and go and fix the tap in the bathroom, its dripping all the time'
the husband replies,'eh eh, take a good look at me now, have a good look at me babe, do i look like a fucking plumber'
wife replies,'do me a favour and go and fix the shelf in the bedroom'
the husband replies,'eh eh, take a good look at me now, have a good look at me babe, do i look like a fucking carpenter'
wife replies,'do me a favour and go and do the garden up'
the husband replies,'eh eh, take a good look at me now, have a good look at me babe, do i look like a fucking gardener'
so the husband went down the pub and forces a couple of pints down.when he came back all the jobs had been done.
the husband says'you look pleased with youself'
the wife replies'yeh, john from next door has fixed all the jobs'
'so how much do i owe him'
'nothing, i asked him if he wanted me to bake him more...

President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergency:

"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "My people's favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.", replied the President.
"I do need your help," said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1, 000, 000 condoms ASAP to tie us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!", said Bush.
"Oh, and one more small favour, please?", said Putin.
"Yes?", replied the President.
"Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.
"No problem," replied the President and with that Bush hung up and called the President of Trojan condoms. "I need a favour, you've got to make 1, 000, 000 condoms right away and more...