"Lottery ticket" joke

Sid goes to temple and gets down on his knees and prays, "Dear God, I work hard but my business isn't doing well, my wife is acting strange and my daughter, ah, you don't want to know. Would it be so terrible, maybe I could win the lottery?"
The next week he's back. "God, my wife, she's moving out and I'm getting audited by the IRS. And my daughter, she's running around with a such a sleaze, would it be so terrible, I could maybe win the lottery?"
The next week, Sid's back. God, now I find my business partner ran off with my wife, leaving me to pay the taxes with money I don't have cause she cleanned out the bank accounts. And my daughter, she's pregnant by that nogoodnik who ran off as well. God, would it be so bad that I might win the lottery?"
At that moment a beam of light comes blazing through the window as the clouds outside part and a voice booms down, "Sidney, meet me half way on this one, BUY A TICKET!!!"

A guy with a black eye boards a plane bound for Pittsburg and immediately notices that the guy seated next to him has a black eye as well. "What a coincidence," he says to him. "We both have a black eye. Mind if I ask how you got yours?"
"Well, it more...


A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead more...


There were 10 blondes and 1 brunette hanging on a rope in the mountains. the rope was very weak and the brunette said someone had to let go. no one volunteered, until the brunette finally said she would let go, and gave a heart-felt speech. hearing this the blondes started more...


A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...


Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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decily: I want to use this oppotunity to thank Dr Asika Kumar for helping me to win the lottery.I have been playing the lottery for the past 2 years now and the only big money i have ever won was 1000$.Ever since then i have not been able to win again and i was so upset and i need help to win the lottery so i decided to go online and search for help,there i saw so many good talk about this man called Dr Asika kumar of how he have cast spell for people to win the lottery.I contact him also and tell him i want to win a lottery he cast a spell for me which i use and i get my ticket and play and i won $50million.I am so greatful to this man just incase you also need him to help you win,you can contact him through his email: [email protected]
Funny Joke? 3 vote(s). 100% are positive. 1 comment(s).