"Lottery ticket" joke

Sid goes to temple and gets down on his knees and prays, "Dear God, I work hard but my business isn't doing well, my wife is acting strange and my daughter, ah, you don't want to know. Would it be so terrible, maybe I could win the lottery?"
The next week he's back. "God, my wife, she's moving out and I'm getting audited by the IRS. And my daughter, she's running around with a such a sleaze, would it be so terrible, I could maybe win the lottery?"
The next week, Sid's back. God, now I find my business partner ran off with my wife, leaving me to pay the taxes with money I don't have cause she cleanned out the bank accounts. And my daughter, she's pregnant by that nogoodnik who ran off as well. God, would it be so bad that I might win the lottery?"
At that moment a beam of light comes blazing through the window as the clouds outside part and a voice booms down, "Sidney, meet me half way on this one, BUY A TICKET!!!"

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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What is the difference between Northern and Southern racism?
A southern racist doesn't mind blacks living nearby, as long as they
don't get "uppity."
A northern racist doesn't mind blacks getting "uppity" as long as they
don't live close.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

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What's the object of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back!

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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decily: I want to use this oppotunity to thank Dr Asika Kumar for helping me to win the lottery.I have been playing the lottery for the past 2 years now and the only big money i have ever won was 1000$.Ever since then i have not been able to win again and i was so upset and i need help to win the lottery so i decided to go online and search for help,there i saw so many good talk about this man called Dr Asika kumar of how he have cast spell for people to win the lottery.I contact him also and tell him i want to win a lottery he cast a spell for me which i use and i get my ticket and play and i won $50million.I am so greatful to this man just incase you also need him to help you win,you can contact him through his email: ultimatespelltemple1@gmail.com
Funny Joke? 3 vote(s). 100% are positive. 1 comment(s).