"Fairy Tale" joke

A foursome was playing golf on a rather sunny day in spring. Fred was having some trouble with his swing but wasn't losing by too much. The group approached the 15th tee which was quite near a road and he watched as his partners teed off before him. Just before he was about to tee off a car came down the road and got a flat tire right near them. The woman in the car was quite striking so the other three men decided that they would help her out. Fred, on the other hand, wanted to tee off his shot first. His shot was beautiful. He was quite upset that his friends hadn't seen it. However, he quickly changed his mind as he saw the ball bounce twice on the green and roll into the cup. Just then a flash appeared at his feet and he looked down to see a small man. "I am the hole-in-one fairy and I will grant you a wish for your effort." Fred looked around to make sure no one saw him. If he was hallucinating he didn't want anyone to see him talking to no one. "Are you serious little man?" The little fairy nodded in response and Fred tried to think of something good to wish for. "I know," he said. "I would like it if I had a longer dick." "And so it shall be done," the fairy said as he flashed away. Fred stood there for a few more minutes not feeling any different and noticing that his dick was still it's small self. Not wanting to tell the guys, who were returning now, he kept himself quiet. That day he came in behind the others as he was unable to concentrate on his game for the rest of the day. Before going to sleep he checked out his dick and noticed that it might have actually increased in length by a few fractions of an inch but he put it down to imagination and figured it was all just a dream and went to sleep. The next morning when he awoke he was immediately aware that his dick had actually grown a good two inches while he had slept. Unfortunately, his wife was still asleep, but he figured he would spring his new found masculinity on her when he returned home from work. That night when Fred returned home from work he noticed that his dick had grown another two inches. He went right up to his wife in the kitchen and she realized what was happening right away when he rubbed up behind her. She tried to ask what or how but she was overwhelmed and she was satisfied beyond her dreams that night by Fred. The next morning Fred could not believe that his dick had grown another four inches that night and now he was starting to get worried. He had difficulty hiding what was happening to him while he walked around at work. After a few days Fred's dick had to be tucked into his sock so that it didn't show out his pants legs and he was getting even more worried, so he grabbed his golf clubs and went out to the 15th tee again with a few buckets of balls. He started hitting balls from the tee to try and get another hole-in-one. Finally, after laboring all day (and another two inches later), Fred gets a hole-in-one and there is a flash at his feet as the hole-in-one fairy appears. "I am the hole-in-one fairy and I will grant you a wish for your effort." "Hi, it's me Fred, I asked for a longer dick a week ago," Fred blurted out quickly. "Oh yeah, I remember you, how is it going?" "Great, Mr. Fairy, My wife loves it and it had given me a real boost of confidence at work, but my dick is getting so long it will be dragging on the ground soon and I thought I would ask you if..." "I know", the Fairy broke in, "You want me to shorten it a little so it doesn't drag on the ground." "No," Fred replied, "I was wondering if you could make my legs longer."

English tourists driving through New Zealand countryside when they spot 4 maori falla's struggling with a huge pole against the woolshed.
Curious they stop, watch and take photo's. Finally one of the tourist's curiosity gets the better of him, so he walks over to them and more...


Maori falla " Me miss!?"
English Teacher, "You! yes you?" "How many seconds are there in one minute?" Whole class puts their hands up. Miss! Miss! I know!
Maori falla " rrrrrrrr ummmmmmm rrr "60 Miss! 60 seconds in one minute more...


China, New Zealand, New England, and Samoa were all building a big Tower for their leaders. So after they were done building the tower each leader wanted to make a toast. China went first. He steps up and says, "I want to make a toast to the Great Wall of China!" All more...


A lovely woman decided to visit a penthouse restaurant. So she rode the elevator to the top floor of the building. She had a drink at the bar and then decided to get some fresh air, so she walked out on the balcony. She got too close to the railing and fell over the more...


I'm hungry:

"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...

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