"Fairy Tale" joke

A foursome was playing golf on a rather sunny day in spring. Fred was having some trouble with his swing but wasn't losing by too much. The group approached the 15th tee which was quite near a road and he watched as his partners teed off before him. Just before he was about to tee off a car came down the road and got a flat tire right near them. The woman in the car was quite striking so the other three men decided that they would help her out. Fred, on the other hand, wanted to tee off his shot first. His shot was beautiful. He was quite upset that his friends hadn't seen it. However, he quickly changed his mind as he saw the ball bounce twice on the green and roll into the cup. Just then a flash appeared at his feet and he looked down to see a small man. "I am the hole-in-one fairy and I will grant you a wish for your effort." Fred looked around to make sure no one saw him. If he was hallucinating he didn't want anyone to see him talking to no one. "Are you serious little man?" The little fairy nodded in response and Fred tried to think of something good to wish for. "I know," he said. "I would like it if I had a longer dick." "And so it shall be done," the fairy said as he flashed away. Fred stood there for a few more minutes not feeling any different and noticing that his dick was still it's small self. Not wanting to tell the guys, who were returning now, he kept himself quiet. That day he came in behind the others as he was unable to concentrate on his game for the rest of the day. Before going to sleep he checked out his dick and noticed that it might have actually increased in length by a few fractions of an inch but he put it down to imagination and figured it was all just a dream and went to sleep. The next morning when he awoke he was immediately aware that his dick had actually grown a good two inches while he had slept. Unfortunately, his wife was still asleep, but he figured he would spring his new found masculinity on her when he returned home from work. That night when Fred returned home from work he noticed that his dick had grown another two inches. He went right up to his wife in the kitchen and she realized what was happening right away when he rubbed up behind her. She tried to ask what or how but she was overwhelmed and she was satisfied beyond her dreams that night by Fred. The next morning Fred could not believe that his dick had grown another four inches that night and now he was starting to get worried. He had difficulty hiding what was happening to him while he walked around at work. After a few days Fred's dick had to be tucked into his sock so that it didn't show out his pants legs and he was getting even more worried, so he grabbed his golf clubs and went out to the 15th tee again with a few buckets of balls. He started hitting balls from the tee to try and get another hole-in-one. Finally, after laboring all day (and another two inches later), Fred gets a hole-in-one and there is a flash at his feet as the hole-in-one fairy appears. "I am the hole-in-one fairy and I will grant you a wish for your effort." "Hi, it's me Fred, I asked for a longer dick a week ago," Fred blurted out quickly. "Oh yeah, I remember you, how is it going?" "Great, Mr. Fairy, My wife loves it and it had given me a real boost of confidence at work, but my dick is getting so long it will be dragging on the ground soon and I thought I would ask you if..." "I know", the Fairy broke in, "You want me to shorten it a little so it doesn't drag on the ground." "No," Fred replied, "I was wondering if you could make my legs longer."

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:

The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do more...

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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98

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't
say a word...
he more...

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