Flash Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

    COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICS: As depicted in movies, Word processors never display a cursor. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences. All monitors display inch-high letters. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces. Those that don't, have incredibly powerful text-bases command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English. Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (see "Fortress"). All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the more...

    A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says: "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty-four." Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions.
    Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says: "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!" Again, there's a bright flash.... ..and both his legs fall off.

    COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICS:As depicted in movies, Word processors never display a cursor. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences. All monitors display inch-high letters. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces. Those that don't, have incredibly powerful text-bases command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English. Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (see "Fortress"). All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the more...

    A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash.
    Astounded that he had been caught speeding when he was doing the speed limit, he turned around and, going even slower, he passed by the camera.
    Again, he saw it flash. He couldn't believe it! So he turned and, going a snail's pace, he passed the camera.
    AGAIN, he saw the camera flash. He guessed it must have a fault, and home he went.
    Four weeks later he received 3 traffic fines in the mail, all for not wearing a seatbelt.

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