Wife Jokes / Recent Jokes
Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
The police were called to our house after a violent domestic dispute.
My wife completely lost her head. I was lucky and just had cuts and bruises.
A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, "How long have you been wearing that bra?" The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."
A husband had to leave town on a buisness trip his wife was the flirtatious type so he thought about buying an infatable doll but that was too close to another man for him so he went to a adult toy store and talked to the old man behind the counter. The old man said well I really shouldnt show you this but ok....he bought out this box with all these stange looking symbols on it and inside lay a very ordinary looking dildo. The man was like
"That is like every other dildo in here."
The old man said well you have mot seen what it can do..he pointed to the door and said "voodo dick, the door" the dildo rose up out of the box shot towards the door and started banging the heck out of the keyhole, before it could split down the middle the old man said "voodo dick back to the box." the dildo stopped banging the keyhole and floted back to the box. The husband was so amazed he intantly offered the old man all his money and the old man accepted. He told the more...
My wife has just found out I've been fucking a Hermaphrodite.
She screamed at me, "What's she got that I haven't got?"
"Well....."
My mate told me yesterday that he had seen his doctor and been told he had to give up sex or he will die.
I said, "Why, mate?"
He said, "I've been fucking his wife."