"Give up sex" joke

My mate told me yesterday that he had seen his doctor and been told he had to give up sex or he will die.
I said, "Why, mate?"
He said, "I've been fucking his wife."

What is the difference between a faggot and a refridgerator?
The fridge dont fart when you pull the meat out.

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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