United States Jokes / Recent Jokes

Like other Chia products,a little water and seed and after 3 days it starts growing. The company had also product tested a Chia-Joe Biden, but had to nix the idea when after six months of a little water and seed, it did nothing.

Former Ohio State Running Back Maurice Clarett was arrested by police yesterday without any reference to Jews. You might remember Clarett when he tried to be the the first sophmore to skip his junior and senior year, and go straight into the NFL. Now he going to be the first former all-star to skip the NFL and go straight to prison. Normally you must play at least two years for the Cowboys before you are eligible for jail time.

Newt Gingrich cautioned those who stand up for freedom of speech by saying we need to reexamine it. I agree. Can we shut this guy up?

Confessed killer and creepy pervert, John Mark Karr, may just be a creepy pervert. Authorities are begining to doubt his confession, some have even called it a vain publicity stunt. Questions are begining to surround the case. Questions like, how does a creepy, blue shirt pervert get past the interview for a teaching job? How could he be in Colorado, when his ex-wife, whom he married when she was 16, says he was Alabama. And why do we allow states like Alabama to let 16 year old girls marry creepy, blue shirt perverts.
Even Jon Ramsey, Jonbenet's father expressed his doubts about Karr. "That's funny", said Ramsey, "I don't remember him being there when I was killing our daughter."

They are bringing in the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act. I'm Irish, married to a Muslim and an animal lover - cut me a break Bush! Anyway, let the FBI follow me around. All they see is me falling off a barstool at 2am.

The pro-life group "Operation Save America" is trying to close Mississippi's only abortion clinic. The group wants abortion limited to when the mother's life is in danger or if she's black.

The Supreme Court has decided not to block the sale of Chrysler to the Italian company Fiat. The Italians made them offer they couldn't refuse.