Economy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Here's a joke my uncle told me:
    Through some cosmic fluke, Reagan, Thatcher, and Gorbachev all died on
    the same day. Off they went to the gates of Heaven. Peter, seeing that
    these were all VIPs, sent them straight off to the Almighty.
    God, sitting on his throne, called up Reagan.
    "Ronald, my son, what have you to say for yourself?"
    "I tried to improve the US economy," replied Reagan, "and I did my best to
    benefit the nation."
    "Very well, my son, come up and sit beside me at my right hand."
    And so Reagan sat at his right.
    God then called up Gorbachev.
    "Mikhail, my son, what have you to say for yourself?"
    "I tried to make Soviet society more open," replied Gorbachev, "and I did
    my best to improve the Soviet economy."
    "Very well, my son, come up and sit beside me at my left hand."
    And so Gorbachev sat at his left.
    God then called up more...

    In recent ads, Verizon promotes their DSL Internet service by pointing out its better than other companies’ dial up services. Borrowing from Verizon’s ad playbook, BMW is launching a new multi-billion dollar campaign that boasts the tagline: “BMW- Because they’re nicer than Kias.”

    The House will vote on Saturday to raise the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour. The raise would allow many Americans to quit their third job.

    How to Argue and Win Every Time
    I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an
    argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:
    *Drink liquor.
    Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
    *Make things up.
    Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to more...

    The plane is on its way to Houston, when a blonde in economy class gets up
    and moves to the first class section and sits down.
    The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She
    then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will
    have to sit back in her seat.
    The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston, and
    I'm staying right here."
    The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the
    co-pilot that there is a blonde sitting in first class who belongs in
    economy and won't move back to her seat.
    The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she
    only paid for economy, she will have to leave and return to her seat.
    The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston, and
    I'm staying right here."
    The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police
    waiting when they land more...

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